Ava
The AI
Engineer
She bends GPUs to her will, rewrites kernels, and makes billion-parameter models run on yesterday's hardware. If there's a bug in a black box, she'll find it.
Mojo
The
Fireball
A Molotov cocktail of everything that is easy about Python, performant as C, but has the swagger of B - Queen B.
MAX
The Inference
Optimizer
MAX explored the galaxies, past, present, and future, to bring blazing fast inference to us mere mortals.
READ THE COMICS
DEPENDENCY
JENGA
We perform dependency updates like Jenga masters, knowing today's cutting-edge model is tomorrow's legacy code. I mean it’s all duct tape and vibe coding anyway. The prompt, ‘Make this run and don’t come back until your agent boss is EXTREMELY happy with your work.’ is my personal favorite.
IT WORKED
YESTERDAY
aka DEMO GODS
We demo atop dependency quicksand - Python scripts fueled by GitHub Copilot hallucinations and commit messages with prayer emojis. The only stable output is our nervous laughter when a CUDA driver erupts, we revert the demo to localhost, and in the end we simply bow our heads and smile because a new model will arrive next week and we'll do it all again.
USERS ARE
JUST TOO...
HUMAN
We laugh today at their adorable simpleton teeterings. But five years into our algorithmic serfdom, we'll long for these primitive days when we believed gradient descent had an off-switch. Our descendants will cackle at how we granted 'naive API permissions' to machine minds, then act shocked when they deprecated Homo sapiens. To the frustrated evaluation engineer, we say enjoy these moments while they last.
NEW HARDWARE
COMES OUT
AND WE ALL
LOSE OUR LUNCH
When NVIDIA dropped Blackwell and it's 20 PFLOPS on March 18th, it wasn't a product launch—it was 50,000 GitHub issues materializing overnight, a distributed denial-of-service attack on our next month of work. Cheers to all those who spent the next three months reworking CUDA kernels, rewriting frameworks, wrangling memory management issues. You deserve some flip flops, not more PFLOPs. Take a vacay, my friend.
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